A, B, C, and D Players: Who Should You Surround Yourself With?

Welcome to the Paul Vette podcast. I'm not going to talk about how it should be done, but especially about who you need to be. I challenge you to become the owner of your true identity. Time for your breakthrough and pleasure in your business. You don't become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That's something many people say and I've also said regularly. But that's because it helps you to be consciously engaged with it and it focuses you on getting to 80 percent. And when you're there, then you want to go further. And that's what this video is for. Why that's not correct? It's about surrounding yourself with the group of people with whom you identify most. I'll share the research below so you can investigate it all yourself where this is explained. The principle is also good news for you. Back to the drawing board for a moment. We're of course talking about A players and in that regard about layer 5 of identity, namely the environmental layer, the people with whom you spend your time. We're talking about A players. If there are A players, what are B, C and D players then? D players, those are people who drain energy from you and hold you back in your growth. So they keep you in your place and they drain you empty. Then you have C players. Those are people who do move you forward in your life, but they also drain energy from you. Those are often teachers who tell you what you should do. Or you follow a course from someone who explains it very boringly, C players. Then you have B players, you get loads of energy from them, but they also don't move you forward in your life or in your business. That's why they're jokingly called beer players. The old group of people with whom you like or liked to have a beer, but they don't move you forward anymore. And then you have the A players. Those are the people who move you forward and from whom you get energy. That you think I want to meet with them more often, because I come home energized. I feel like getting to work with what you've grown in. They're inspiring. When you find those A players, that's gold for you. That A player for you is a D player for someone else. Simple example like this. I had a friend and this friend of mine didn't want to grow at all, didn't want to be an entrepreneur at all. And I kept coming to him with new ideas and with business and with approaches. And also when I was a DJ, yes he found that fantastic. But meanwhile I was completely draining him of energy, because that wasn't completely his passion. He said he found it inspiring, but I drained him and I also didn't move him forward in his life. No, because I was too far removed from who he is at his core. That doesn't work. So I was conversely a D player for him. Even though he thought I was an A player for him. And this is often the point with you too that you think hey someone else is indeed a D player for me but to say goodbye to them is mean. No, it's mean to maintain that contact. Because you're occupying a place in terms of time and appointments and also mental space, I'll come back to that, for that person to connect with someone else. Who might be a player for that person. Because the moment you want this, you want growth, you want to go for the maximum and you have people around you who don't want that, then you're automatically not a player for them. So then you have to cut that tie. Super handy, super important too. Look, you only have mental space to identify and to connect with a limited number of people. In the past in communities there were about 150. That will probably still be the case now that if I have a conversation with you and I'm going to talk with you at length about all kinds of aspects in your life, then there will be 150 people top of mind and the rest falls away. And in those 150 there's naturally a top tier and that's what I want to talk to you about. Because that top challenges your brain and invites you to achieve the growth you want to achieve. And many people therefore say to me yes I find it difficult Paul to gather the right people around me. That has to do with the fact that we find it increasingly scary to pick up the phone or to walk in on people. And just say hi, I'm Paul and I find what you do super inspiring. This is what I could do for you. What could you mean for me? Or this is what I could do for you. Could you mean this for me? Do your homework for a moment. Think carefully about what added value you could be for that person? And then it's smart to think okay, how so? So don't immediately think no, I'm not of added value. No okay, how so? If you do your homework, you'll always find a way. And then you can simply get in contact with those kinds of people. But we do find that scary. And it's also difficult or you don't know those people. It's of course also true that the moment you start talking with people, it can take a while before you've also found the right click. But what another method is, and this is worth gold, is your brain wants to identify with other people. And you determine. You determine with whom. And what you can do very well in this era is start identifying yourself and also modeling such a person of the entrepreneur of whom you think yes in a year or in 5 years then I want to be that person. And then not necessarily in the area where that person is doing business, but what kind of entrepreneur that person is. And what you can then simply do is start binge-watching podcasts or videos of that person. Now I'm not talking about you thinking hey Diary of a CEO or the Lotgenoten podcast in Dutch I find inspiring. Then you focus on the podcast hosts. It's about the guests. So which entrepreneur do you want to binge? Because what then happens when you start wanting to identify with that person, then your brain also automatically adjusts and matches with how that person thinks and is. Those are systems in your brain and that ensures that you can also grow easily. So that environmental layer, the people with whom you spend the most time, that doesn't necessarily have to be one-on-one in conversation. It is more powerful the moment you have that possibility. But if you don't have that possibility and you feel and know hey, the entrepreneurs with whom I want to connect, they're currently still out of my reach. Then the first question again is okay, how do you get into their reach? Do your homework and send them a letter, an email or visit or call them up or send them a message on social media or wherever. Do your homework and from the moment you can be of added value to that person, then it's also possible to speak to such a person. And if that really doesn't work, then you go binge-watch videos and podcasts. It's the first 5 to 10 moments that you come into contact or that your brain comes into contact with that person, that you actually also absorb that energy and that information. And that's how you also become more, your identity becomes more like that entrepreneur is. And that's worth gold, especially if you're going to deploy this selectively and smartly. Because you can deploy this in such a way that you think yes I like that person. Okay, but are they indeed doing business in such a way that you feel hey I want to do business that way. Or is it indeed an entrepreneur who's running a similar business to the one you want to build? Otherwise it's of course not too smart to do that. So briefly summarizing we have ABC and D players. The D players drain you and don't move you forward in your life. The C players move you forward in your life, but still drain you too. The beer players also pull you toward the now. Not downward, you do get energy from them. It's pleasant, that's also difficult, but don't move you forward in your life. And the A players do move you forward in your life. And you're also only an A player for your A players. And you're also a B, C and D player for your B, C and D players. That's important. So it's not selfish to say goodbye to us. It's actually selfish to maintain that contact. Because there are other people better suited for those other people. So that's important. And what the other important thing is, is go feed your brain with the entrepreneur or the other inspiring person who you want to model. So how you want to be. And realize that if you're also going to do this consciously, that you consciously start listening to podcasts and start listening to okay, what are they really saying? How are they saying those things? What are their thought patterns? What is their view on business? And the moment you then also connect your feeling to it, layer 2 of identity, and start telling yourself, layer 3 of identity, that you can identify with this person. Then you'll also notice that when you start talking about this person, this is a good indication to someone else. So say now who do I find inspiring? I find Elon Musk an inspiring entrepreneur. He gets quite a lot done. If I then say something about that and nobody else who says something bad about it and I feel affected by it. Yes, then an identification is already starting to develop. You see this example a lot with football supporters by the way. The moment you're for a football club and I speak badly about that football club and you feel attacked, that comes from you identifying with that football club. Well the same applies therefore to entrepreneurs. So the moment you're invested in an entrepreneur and you start to take on and take over that identity somewhat. The modeling works and someone else speaks badly about that entrepreneur and you feel affected. Is a good indication. Then you're on the right track so to speak. It's just information and that's cool. So go apply this. Preferably therefore do your homework and call that entrepreneur, visit, email, send a letter. Now with the holidays, because this is recorded in December. Sending a card can all work and you get into their environment or you at least get into their mind. And when you really start talking to them, then you can tap into their brain. Pay close attention to what they do, in what way, how they do business, what their view is. And make sure you have the idea of okay, I'm adapting to this person. Being compliant in that. That works very powerfully and if that doesn't work, then you go watch as many podcasts and videos as possible. Because that ensures that you start trusting that person. That doesn't mean you have to do that with this person or these persons for the rest of your life. It helps you to move forward again in that identity shift you're making. Until you become more that entrepreneur you want to be. And continually you look again at new entrepreneurs of whom you think yes, that's now my A player with whom I'd like to identify. Your growth is further ignited. Ready to take full ownership? Then check the link in the show notes. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.