You Think You Control Your Brain? Think Again.

Welcome to the Paul Vette podcast, a podcast about leadership, mindset and hypnosis. Enjoy listening. This time I was a guest myself in Marion Christiane's podcast, so from here she takes over. Hey, hello, welcome to this podcast Always Young, in which I address all topics that have to do with Always Young. We can stay young forever. We get older, but we can stay healthy for as long as possible. What do I consider important as a topic? Also especially personal development. Because how you stand in life is incredibly important to age healthily. Because that all has an influence on your cells. And today I have a really great guest, Paul Vette is sitting here with me. And Paul is a hypnotherapist. And yes, I've just experienced a session with Paul as well. I'll tell you in a moment, we'll also discuss a bit how I experienced it. But I know Paul from LinkedIn. And yes, somehow I immediately had a kind of connection with him. I thought, well, I really need to have him in my podcast once. So Paul, I think it's really nice that you're here in my podcast. Thank you for the invitation. And yes, you're welcome. I'm very happy about it. Hypnosis, that's not something everyone does. What's the reason you chose to do hypnosis? How did you come to it? Very simple, I wanted to help people on a deeper level than what I was doing at the time with coaching. So I had already completed a coaching training. I could already help people. I also took them further, I got feedback, but I thought yes, there's always an even deeper layer and I want to help people with that. So then I thought, well, maybe I should study psychology. So I was already looking at an evening course, I would be busy for 10 years and after 10 years I would then really be able to help people on a deeper level. But I thought yes, if that's needed to be able to help people, then maybe I should do that. But fortunately I thought about it a bit more and then I somehow ended up with Edwin Seleij, owner of Hypnosis Institute Netherlands. And he organized a seminar and then I heard, yes, with hypnosis you can also resolve traumas, you can also get to the core and you can even transform it. And all much faster too and you don't need a 10-year education. Then I thought, well, that's made exactly for me. So then I signed up for that seminar and even before I went to the seminar I had read so much about it that I knew, okay, I have to do this training. Yes, that's actually how I got into it. And how long ago is that now? That's over 5 years ago, I think 5.5 years ago. Because Edwin's list has grown enormously in recent years of course. You see it everywhere now of course. I've also read his book, 'You Don't Have It, But You Do It'. Yes, fascinating. Yes, great book. And you also use, I've just experienced that of course, you also use his techniques? Among other things, I also learned in his training to make and build techniques myself. So one of the techniques you just underwent is a technique I created myself. But I do use other techniques from him, yes. You told me earlier, you were also a coach before that. Yes. NLP, because you use that too. NLP is simply part of hypnosis. Many people don't know that, but the people who invented hypnosis, that was 2 people or 3, I never really remember. And one of those 2, he just said yes, hypnosis is just a bit too much, too all-encompassing, also a bit too, yes, not yet scientifically well founded. This is really from the 60s, 70s. And then one person said, well I'll just take a part of it and I'll build NLP. That's where NLP originated. So NLP has always been part of hypnosis, NLP is a bit more accepted in society than hypnosis. But it's simply part of it. Okay. Yes. And you use that, I just experienced that of course, you really use NLP and hypnosis in one session. Yes. Because it's not like If you look at hypnosis, then the listener might also think, I'd like to come back to that briefly, under hypnosis that you just lie down and you're completely out of it and don't know anything anymore. But as I just experienced it, which I think is very interesting for the listener, we just have a conversation. I just come in, you immediately seat me, we have a conversation. You immediately take over and the pace is so high, it immediately goes bam bam bam bam that I can't think properly anymore, but I do respond to your questions. But it goes so fast. That's NLP hypnosis then. That's right, yes. The hypnotic technique is bypassing your critical brain, because the moment you try to change something from your own critical brain, I sometimes have those people on the phone or they sometimes sit in my chair, who say 'yes, but this is where it is' or 'yes, wait a minute, let me finish my story, because then you'll know exactly how it is'. But the moment their critical brain is talking and keeps repeating why they have problems with something, yes, then they're only going to think themselves more stuck. So I have to bypass that critical brain and get you out of there to directly, and you just said that, I feel like you were immediately rooting around in my unconscious. Yes, that's the core, because in your unconscious, that's where your genius lies. That's where all the solutions are already stored, because I'm not the solution and I pull them out of you, so they also fit you and are yours. But I do that by turning down that voice in your head a bit. And with a lot of people that also happens by putting them in hypnosis and laying them down in a chair and quietly bringing them into a trance. By the way, you still consciously know what's happening, because I don't bring people so deep into a trance that they no longer know what's happening. But the faster technique is simply conversational, because then you don't have the idea of 'hey, I'm in hypnosis'. So your critical brain isn't very sharp either, because it thinks 'but we're just still talking'. And so we can just apply hypnosis immediately in a conversation. Yes, because that was it indeed. That's indeed how I experienced it too. And now you just said about really bringing someone into a trance. What actually is hypnosis in your brain? Because you probably agree that many people are a bit anxious about it. I think yes hypnosis, they all find it scary and then I'll probably have to walk around like some kind of animal and start barking or something like that. But what is it actually? Yes, it's very funny that you do say you might also see that, but I don't see those people anymore, because people always only come to me when they're open to hypnosis. So in my worldview everyone is open to hypnosis. But what you're describing is indeed, most people still think about that. People also always think like yes, will I still come out of hypnosis? I always say jokingly, no, my office is full of people who are still in hypnosis, come and see. Well, they don't believe that either. I always find that funny. But hypnosis itself, the brain state I bring you into, is the so-called theta state. And twice a day you and the listener are already in it, namely just before you fall asleep and just after you wake up. Then your brain is still kind of half dreaming. So you might still be dreaming about that beautiful goal you've achieved or that beautiful trip you've made. And you're completely in that. But at the same time you're also conscious of your environmental sounds and you just know okay, I'm lying in my own bed. At such a moment if the doorbell rings, then you get up and you open it. The moment if you have a child for example and they need you, you get up and you help your child. It's not that you're completely gone. And in that data state you have access to your unconscious. And because we agree in advance what you're going to achieve with your unconscious, I guide your unconscious in it. The moment I go in a direction you don't actually want, like suppose I say yes and now imitate a dog and start barking. If you don't want that, then you don't do it. If we haven't agreed on that, then you don't do it either, because you're there to solve something or to improve something with me. Yes, so you come with an intention to you then? Yes, always. And just give some examples of what people come to you for? Yes, that's very funny, because it's so broad what they engage me for. But in essence it's often a fear that lies underneath. But it can be fear, stress-related complaints, relationship problems, that they have the idea they're on the wrong track, that they actually feel there's much more in them than what comes out, that they have the idea they could be successful and maybe even should be with everything they do, but it doesn't come out. But also allergies or a fear of a cold sore. I've helped a really successful entrepreneur with that. He even mentioned it all in his review like 'he came for the cold sore', but it brought me so much more'. So yes, I can help people with all kinds of things. So they also come to me for all kinds of reasons. But ultimately the essence is a bit of fear that holds them back and keeps them small. And they just want to live their life to the fullest. That's also why I do what I do. I just see people. Everyone who sits in my chair, if I were sitting in my chair myself, I would see that in myself too. But there's always much more potential to be gotten out of someone than someone actually gets out. And ultimately that's the core of it. They just want a more enjoyable life, a more beautiful life, a nicer life, a qualitatively higher life or a life with more success. That's what they ultimately come for. And are those, those sorts of things, that's recognizable for a lot of people I think. Is that related to trauma or is it learned behavior? Is it in the subconscious, does it come from past lives? I don't work with past lives myself, but the moment you believe in that then it's there. Because the moment you convince yourself of that, then it's so. I can also something No, I find that interesting what you're saying. If you convince yourself of that, is it so that we can actually convince ourselves? Yes. So we can actually tell ourselves a whole story that might not be true at all. No, it could also be that when I use this word 'convince yourself' as if I don't believe in past lives. So I don't want to say that it doesn't exist, but the moment you don't believe in it, then it doesn't exist for you and if you do believe in it, then it does exist for you. That's just how it is. And you just have a story in your head and from that story you create your reality. So the moment you deep down don't believe that you can be successful or that you can find that ideal partner or that you can't get the very best out of yourself, then you're constantly holding yourself back. And the moment you do believe it, there are enough people who believe it, someone with narcissistic personality traits, for example, they're very good at that. Yes, they're often very successful too, because they truly deeply believe that they're the best at something. And yes, because they believe it, they also make it true in their reality. So the story you believe yourself is just very important for what manifests in your reality. So yes, that's why I use the word convince. It's really about the deeper belief in it. Yes, I understand. I'll come back to you in a moment. A story immediately comes to mind too, but we just briefly touched on where does it come from? Is it indeed from past lives, trauma, your own story? How do those problems arise in people who then have the feeling of 'hey you know, it's all just not quite right and it's not working and I keep getting stuck and I'm not living my potential' so to speak. Often it's a trauma, but I find that the word trauma is easily made too big. Because you can really experience something intense when you're 3 years old. But for a three-year-old, a lot of things are intense. And then it can still be experienced as traumatic. How I see it is at such a moment when something happens, then something gets fixed in your body. And the moment you experience something at, for example, your fourth year of life and that gets fixed in your body. And you're 30 years old afterwards and in certain situations you feel yourself becoming very small or you feel a certain fear, then you literally shoot back to that age. So then you feel that four-year-old experiencing that again, reliving it. Yes, and as a 30-year-old you often don't need to be afraid of many things that you would be afraid of as a four-year-old. And that's how you could see a trauma as something that has fixed itself in your system. With hypnosis you can go to that moment and then you can do 2 things. One, resolve it. But also unlock the potential that you've developed through that traumatic experience, let's call it that, unlock that potential and actually take it with you into your future. Because where it was once heavy or intense, of course you've developed certain competencies and qualities. And the moment you still look negatively at that point through which you developed it, then you're not fully embracing your own competencies and qualities. And then you're also still keeping yourself small, then you often still feel like a four-year-old, while as a thirty-year-old you can actually handle the world just fine. And isn't it true that most people do that, I mean you must also have this, people who have experienced trauma or look at the past, that they mainly look at the disadvantageous part of it. Because it's actually interesting what you're saying now, like 'hey, but wait, then you'll say that to me later too. There's still an advantage from everything you've experienced. So be grateful actually for. Yes, and I know there are a lot of therapists who are also very careful with those kinds of things for that reason. But from there you also say, yes, it needs to be healed or it needs to be resolved or you need to leave it behind you. But then you're just not embracing those qualities that arose from it. And I really see it as a kind of energy bomb that can be released the moment you can look at your past with a positive view. There are of course a number of steps needed for that. And you can't just do that easily, because if a negative experience forms your entire identity, then you're stuck in that identity. So then you're indeed living in that identity of yes, but I'm a victim of and then you're also going to say I am. You mentioned the book already, you don't have it, you do it. So you're not it, you don't have it, you do it, you do certain behavior. But what if you can take that identity, not from the victim perspective, but from ownership and say yes, I've experienced something and I've overcome it and you can make that shift towards that. Yes, then you really stand fully in your power. Yes, then you can really use that power well instead of indeed living with yes, but I'm someone who carries this with them. And then you can say yes, I want to leave that behind me or resolve it or you look at okay, what gold lies there? And I actually find that much more powerful. That has also really helped me myself. Yes, interesting. And of course it's also true that we've experienced many things that we may not remember anymore between 0 and 7 years old. We experience a lot of things as a child of course. What trauma is. All our children experience trauma. That's what we're here for. But it doesn't have to be, it's not all that big. It can be something very small, but it can still shape you, as a child shape you, in your view on certain things. But very often you don't know that. How do you approach that then when there's something there that has consequences, like you did with me? Because we ended up at my two-year-old. At an unsafe feeling it was mainly. Different. No, from scarcity. We came to it from scarcity. And then it was suddenly okay, then he made a shift. I don't even remember how anymore, I can't even remember it anymore, but I was fully present. Then I went back to 2 years old. Yes. How do you do that with people when you don't know where it is or when people don't really have a clear trauma I didn't know where it was with you either, but your unconscious knows that. So I only needed at that moment when I was having conversations with you, you had your eyes open, but still you're in a trance state at that moment. People sometimes find that weird, but then I say yes, sometimes it also happens when you're driving somewhere, that you sometimes kind of wake up startled, that you think 'am I here already' or 'you missed an exit'. Then you've also just been in that trance state. In that conversation with you I also brought you into a trance, just by having a conversation and by applying certain techniques, through which I have contact with your unconscious. Your unconscious is brilliant, it just knows that. So your unconscious brings you in contact with that moment when you were 2 years old. Sometimes people say 'yes, Marie, when I look back at photos or whatever, then it doesn't match that I'm 2. That doesn't matter. At that moment your unconscious presents the two-year-old Marion and then we can work with that and then we can resolve it with that. I'll also never help people if they ask me 'yes, I want to know where it comes from'. Then I always say 'yes, I'm not going to do that. I can resolve it for you'. But a lot of people think: 'if I just know where it comes from, then I'll be rid of it.' No, you'd better resolve it, because knowing exactly where it comes from, nobody knows that anymore. You can't prove that yesterday exists. Can't prove it to anyone. No, that's true. For all we know we woke up this morning in some matrix with all the data, all the information that's here and we're only a few hours old. You could look at that very spiritually or even scientifically, because that's just possible. Can just be put into a computer. In 100 years we'll have computers that can do that. So yes, why wouldn't that be with us? We can't prove that. Yes, I have a photo from 10 years ago. Yes, but you don't know if that photo was rendered this morning or something. This sounds a bit like conspiracy talk, but the point is that it's also been proven from scientific research that memories get distorted. So you leave things out, you distort them, you add things, all sorts of things happen with them. So a memory from your two-year-old, yes that's probably not even true. But that doesn't matter, because for you, and then you come back to the story, it is true. Yes. So for your unconscious there was something there and your unconscious presented that. Well Paul, we can work with this. And then I also always explain, I haven't told you this yet, but you can see me as those rubber bumpers at bowling. So kids, when they go bowling, they get those rubber bumpers in the gutter. Or nowadays they have those things that get put up. I am those rubber bumpers. I just make sure that you stay on the lane. And it's not about me bringing you to a two-year-old. Or it's not about me saying certain things for that purpose. That's just to keep you on track. And some people, especially a critical mind, they'll focus on the rubber bumpers. So they try to investigate, yeah but what's happening now? But yeah, if you focus on that, doesn't matter, you just bounce back onto the lane anyway to knock down those pins. Yes, it's indeed quite interesting and then I'll also share my experiences right away. How I experienced going under hypnosis with you, because I think that's important to be able to share of course. And we tackled the subject, the feeling of being held back somewhere and continuously not being successful. Well, at some point we really dug into that. And because you were talking so fast, I was basically just answering and could barely even think for myself anymore. Then we indeed tackled my two-year-old, so we did a regression, because that's what you call a regression. Going back to the moment where something was actually fixed in your system, what you could call a trauma. And there, at the moment you solve it and use that energy for your potential in the future, yeah then something really beautiful and magical happens and then you never feel like a two-year-old again. No, because we actually stuck with that for quite a while and then we also had the feeling of, there was the feeling of scarcity right, which I gave form to. Yes. Yes, that was that. Well, good, then you ask does it have a form? Well, you can barely think properly, because you're quite fast, suddenly boom is there a form? I think there is a form. Okay, it can be smashed. With what? Okay, yes, I'm holding a hammer. That goes incredibly fast. So then you smash it. That takes a very short time, but still you go along with it. You do go along with it. It could be the listener is also a bit lost now, because suddenly you're talking about a form and for you that's logical. But the question is okay, suppose the feeling evokes an image, that it evokes a picture. Well, we're visual people, we think easily in pictures. I also test that beforehand, because some people are more auditory, so you pay more attention to what they hear than to what they see. But most people think in pictures. So the moment you form an image of that feeling and it's an image instead of a color, yes, then you can also do something with it. And in this case you also wanted to, because it is important, you wanted to smash it. It's not that I say, just smash it, because that's a suggestion. It could be that there's also a certain identity attached to it from you and that you're not ready yet to let go of it, then that doesn't work. But the moment you're really done with it and you want to get rid of it and I ask you, okay, how would you like to get rid of it? You start hitting it with a hammer in your mind, yes, then it's suddenly gone and then that feeling is suddenly transformed. Yes. Because after that feeling of scarcity there was a lump, a tension, a stone. Yes, that felt different. And after that you said Yes, it felt lighter. There was still something there, but it did feel different and lighter. Yes, that's right. So in that way you transform that feeling or a trauma or something you carry with you, that you bump into. So you transform that in different ways. So also with this, by giving a feeling to it. Yes, and you transform it. I only guide you through that process, because I didn't say it was a ball. No, that's true. No, you ask about it, does it have a form. Exactly, yes. And then you also take that, you also took me along, into the future. Yes. So from the number of things we did, regression, that feeling giving it a form, I had knocked that away. Then you also took me into the future, yes, two-year-old child of course, then you also took me into the future. And also imagine right, in half a year you're standing here in the Netherlands, what feeling do you give then? Yes. Why do you do that? Yes, that's future pacing. So to ensure that you actually already program in your brain that the good feeling you have now is magnified. Because in half a year's time that can grow and suddenly you're standing in front of a mirror and the moment you now notice, okay, I've made such a shift in an hour and fifteen minutes. Yes, what's possible then in half a year? Then I'm like this and that and then you'll also accept as truth that that's possible. So I'm actually bringing your future to the now, because there's no half a year from now at all. I didn't explain that to you just now, but now I can explain it. Half a year from now doesn't exist at all, just like yesterday doesn't exist. It's only now. So if you can experience that half a year from now, that's just again to bypass your critical mind of yes, in half a year that can be there. Yes, then I feel like that. Okay, how do you know that? Yes, I feel that. Okay, then you feel it now already, don't you? That's not in half a year, that's there now. That's also a bit to trick your brain, but also to program into it that that will be your timeline. So I'm actually putting you on a better timeline and you're also accepting that as true. And so that's also the way you learn to manifest as we teach that actually. Yes certainly, it is important that with manifestation that the piece of feeling comes with it. That's why I also very often ask about feeling. With men I do that a bit less often than with women, because men often find that a bit less important and they can also do that a bit less well. So if you ask about it too much, then men drop out, then I lose them. But I always ask about the feeling. And the moment you really see a certain future with an intense feeling and you get enthusiastic about it, yes, then you sort of attract that future. But that's because that future isn't in the future, it's in the now. So then you experience that now, so it's already there now. Yes, that's true. How do you do that with men then? Because this is mainly feeling too. Only I don't ask it as often as with you. So I just wanted to nuance that. With you I continuously ask. How does this feel? How is that for you? How and where do you feel that? I ask a lot of questions based on feeling. With men, I ask it too, but less often. And with men there's also often less of an elaborate answer about feeling. How do you feel? Good. I do ask through a bit though, because they should also learn to feel a bit better. Maybe you get to that, but I myself can also feel very well. And if I take the time for it and I investigate it, then I can also bring nuances to feeling. But yes, I as a man just live the whole day often on the same kind of feeling. So that's quite nice. Is it then the case that with men that feeling, well we're talking about it like that, that learned behavior from being a child or is it just how men are put together? Both, both. It's also learned, but well, that's also learned by men. So it's that kind of thing. I was raised by a woman myself. Then you'd think, okay, then you're actually about feeling. Only mother couldn't feel. So she actually taught me the opposite. But yes, honestly also if you look at someone my age. Yes, my father, he was born in the year the war ended. So he had parents who experienced two wars. They weren't feeling, because feeling, that was only fear and pain and grief and yes, it was just scary. So they were only busy surviving, so they didn't learn that. And my generation, who yes, we have some space to feel, but that's still for the masculine yes, feeling is also seen as something of weakness. I think the word vulnerable is bad, because the moment you're really open about your feeling, that's actually powerful, it's not vulnerable at all. But it's often still associated with weakness. Fortunately there are already many men who disagree with that. But being in touch with your feeling is super useful, because having a gut feeling and acting from there. I always say you make a decision based on your feeling, but you do execute that decision with your head. So acting directly from feeling isn't useful. A piece of control in between is smart, but that's super valuable information. So I wish every man that they can do that. Yes. But then in the right way and that they also actually have access to what am I experiencing now. And women are naturally a bit better at that. But you also have many women who are just a bit harder because the masculine seems to be getting a bit weaker. You easily have women who then take the reins, take charge. And from there they also develop somewhat more masculine energy and are then also often a bit further away from their own feeling. So there really is a difference between men. Yes, yes, certainly. By the way, I do want to say one more thing, because I keep forgetting that. You talk about what you've just gone through in an hour and fifteen minutes. I did extra much because we only had an hour and fifteen minutes. And normally I have either a session that lasts longer or multiple sessions. But I just really wanted to give you the experience of multiple techniques and of course also solve as much as possible for you. So if people think 'wow, all that, that's way too much'. I always adjust everything to what someone can handle. But I do always work quickly. Yes, that's right, because we also did a very brief small family constellation. Very simple, just in between to... So you've indeed done quite a lot in an hour and fifteen minutes. So when people come to you, it's just calmer and you have three hours there, you take your time, you said? Yes. Then you have much more time for it and then it happens in a completely different way. Yes, if we do 1 session to experience a breakthrough, but if you come for a program, then we do shorter sessions, because I also work with entrepreneurs who have a lot scheduled in their agenda. And if I've been working with someone longer and we're already attuned to each other, then a hypnosis session can easily be done in 40 minutes. It's not for nothing that Edwin Slee is now writing a book, the 3 minute reset. Yes, that's a hypnosis technique, I did that with you too. The regression I did with you of the two-year-old, that's that technique. That can basically be done in 3 minutes. Sometimes it takes a bit longer if it needs to click, but it can be done in 3 minutes. That's indeed very fast. Yes, I want to know from you at the end indeed what exactly you offer, because that might be interesting for readers. Yes, but my main concern is that people don't get scared of wow, does all that happen at the same time and what changes just like that? That's a bit much then for me. Yes, exactly. And I know, you can handle that and I can also guide you afterwards in this. I always do that anyway, but I just know, you can handle that. But for some people it can be off-putting. Also especially when you change, how does your environment react to that? Because that's often also a difficult thing. And when you make too big a step at once, then it's often difficult to maintain that completely if you keep your environment the same. I guide people in that too. But I mainly want to reassure people, because I also sometimes work in such a way that I talk people into hypnosis in such a way that they just sit or lie calmly in their chair and then really sink a bit deeper into the trance. Okay. I do that too. Yes, you just said when you change, that also has consequences for your environment. Yes. And you also talked earlier about identity. So you can really shift your identities. So who you think you are, because we all say 'I am' but are you actually that? Because you also asked me, who are you actually? But I'm not Marion sitting here. I have taken on this identity in this physical body by which people recognize me. With this physical body I have adopted my identity in such a way that I act in this life. But who am I actually then? And that identity you can just, you say, really completely change it. Yes, yes definitely. What a nice example is, because your environment reacts to who you are and what you do. But when I put you in a different environment and you present yourself as someone else, then people believe that too. So then you can believe that yourself too. I recently did a workshop here for starting entrepreneurs to let them get acquainted with it. I first put them all in hypnosis and brought them 2 years into the future to let them experience: hey, how is it then with you? Who are you then? What kind of business do you have? And then there were seriously also 2 or 3 entrepreneurs who just have a totally different company then, than what they have now. But from there I let them talk to each other, I basically just let them get to know each other and have them give a kind of pitch of okay, I'm that person, I do this, my company has this, I help people with this, this is my turnover and they all proclaimed that to each other. Well, then I brought them back to the now and then they were allowed to say what they do now and who they are now. Yes, mouths fell open, because everyone already believed they were that person from 2 years in the future. Because if you put someone completely in that identity, then other people believe it. You start believing it yourself and then that also becomes reality for a moment. And if that can already happen with such a simple assignment, yes, what happens then when you actually solve ballast from your past? So that you make sure you're no longer triggered to an age at which a trauma was set in your body, but that you do have those competencies and qualities that you developed there, if you bring those to the now and dare to own them, that you're happy with them, that you look at them positively. And then I have another technique too, I didn't do it with you, but that's really in my six-month program, I also have another technique to also make those qualities and competencies and new qualities and competencies that you still want to develop your own much faster, yes, then you just shift in identity and then you could even walk away after a session or after the program and say well, I'm Marion and I help these clients with that while you don't do that at all now. And then you can just bring that convincingly. And then it's also true, because that's the reality, because you've started believing deep inside, but from the full potential you have. I think that's beautiful. That's indeed... Such an identity shift is very easy and quick to do. Only it's then very fleeting when you do it in such a workshop way, like the one I just described. So that also fades away quickly. But when you really take the right tools and make sure you're no longer triggered and no longer believe because of that that you're not there yet. Yes, if you're only triggered and find proof that you're already there, then you've become that person. Yes, so it's always a trigger, you say. Because I can imagine if someone here isn't familiar with this anymore, thinks yes, you know, I can't just change who I am, can I? I'm just who I am. You can't change anything about that either. No, yes, then you especially shouldn't call me if you have that conviction. Because yes, that's just how I am is just bullshit, because your behavior now is really different than in 10 years. Even for people who say that's just how I am, yes if they look back 20 years, they really do show different behavior. Even if they could only run further back then. Just to name something. There's always change. Only people who say 'yes, that's just how I am', they just have a mindset of 'yes, I can't change anyway'. Yes, then you shouldn't call me. But other people who say 'yes, but I am stuck in this identity'. Your whole environment, so your house, where you work, the people, what you do, it sounds a bit spiritual, but they reflect who you are. When you just keep doing the same things, keep associating with the same people, your house stays the same, then that's constantly a reflection of who you are and so you believe that nothing changes, because you see the same thing all the time. So when you adopt a different identity, then I also know for sure, and that's going to happen with you too when you walk out of here, you're going to see the world differently. You're going to perceive things subtly differently, which makes you notice 'hey, the world is different, so I'm different'. Yes. And you can also do that roughly by changing your environment. Yes, it's a well-known saying. You become the average of the 5 people you associate with, but that's not because they tell you what they do. No, it's just literally because our brains synchronize with each other. That's measurable. People can measure that. If you know the work of Joe Dispenza, he can just measure that. There are pictures in his book, he measures that. Yes, associate with millionaires, then you naturally become a millionaire. I'm not saying you automatically become a nice person who's fit and healthy, but you do become a millionaire. If you associate with 5 super fit people who just work out multiple times every week and eat super healthy, your brain synchronizes and you become that. So that's why an identity change always goes together with a change in environment. But if you change, your environment changes. And if you then also consciously change your environment, then that identity change only becomes easier. Yes, so the change always starts with yourself then. Yes definitely. First with yourself and only then in your outer world. Very simple, if you close your eyes, I'm now sitting with my eyes closed. Yes, I can't even prove that anything exists outside myself, except my clothes that I feel and the chair I'm sitting on. Now I hear a sound somewhere, but otherwise I can't prove anything. I can't prove that when I open my eyes, that a little computer doesn't quickly render this back. So yes, everything exists from me, from my experience. Isn't it also like that? It's even so that colors don't exist, behind me is a plant that's green. It's that white light falls on it and this plant absorbs all colors except green and that reflects into my eye and my brain. It says yes, we make the color green from that. Not in terms of language, but really in terms of sight. Doesn't even exist. No, that's right, I've indeed heard that, or I've also heard, if a tree falls in a forest where no one is, is there sound? Yes, you don't know that. Just think about it, you actually don't know at all. No, you can't know. Because we hear it, but if we don't hear it, exactly. It's the same thing, of course, isn't it? Yes. That change of identity, well, let me just make a connection to my work, to people who want to lose weight, who want to get fitter. That's also a certain identity, of course. Yes. And you have, of course, you can have a virtual gastric band fitted. Yes. And you can also tinker on the outside by eating cucumber and exercising more often. Yes. I believe it's necessary to go deeper to actually bring about the change they actually want to be, a fitter person. You have experience with it from when you were far too heavy to now. Just briefly connecting to a virtual gastric band and how you also look at people who really want to become fitter and healthier and age healthily. How I look at it is that it is indeed a layer deeper. Very simple, you also know that when you eat less than you burn, then you lose weight. But there always comes a point, or for many people there comes a point where they stagnate and then from themselves start eating more again or automatically start eating up more muscle instead of fat. And that's because they're holding onto it for a certain reason. And that often has to do with self-image. I always say self-love or a good self-image has nothing to do with your image, how you look. It does have to do with how you look at yourself. I myself weighed 120 kilos. Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy because my surname is FAT. That could also be possible. I think it's with an h, right? Yes, the fancy variant. But I assume that for me it had to do with 2 things. One, I wanted to protect myself, because I simply grew up in an environment that was super unsafe. I mainly grew up with my mother, who was an alcoholic and psychologically unstable. So every evening it was either a fight or I had to adapt. I got a lot out of that, because now I can read people. I can adapt myself very easily to people. I learned to live independently, so got a lot out of it. But in that period before I could get all that out of it, I just had to constantly protect myself. And when I protect myself, when I was fat, I weighed heavy. You couldn't just knock me over. They sometimes say 'if you want to make sure you don't get kidnapped, have another cake'. That's very good advertising for coffee shops and such. Yes, you can protect yourself quite well. A punch on my fat, yeah, that did little. Nothing happened with that, so I felt super protected. Besides that, I was just an internal fat person, so I became an external fat person. Only from the moment I really started loving myself, did the first bit of fat come off. So then I went from 120 kilos to 106 kilos because I literally found myself ugly in the mirror and I can only find myself ugly if I love myself. So people always see that wrong, they think no, I'm super negative towards myself. Yes, that's a sign that you love yourself, because otherwise you wouldn't care. Yes, so when you realize like shit, something needs to change about me, that's just a sign of self-love and embrace that. From that moment you love yourself and then you become aware of 'okay, something needs to change'. And then I started doing that. I then went mountain biking very anonymously with glasses on and a helmet on and a suit on, which was way too tight. It wasn't that anonymous, but I didn't dare go to the gym. I was just that fat man in the neighborhood. But yeah, it did help, because I just started eating more often. I also think eating more. I don't know that. I didn't keep track then, but just eating regularly. Lost weight nicely. Yes, and from that moment I could push through and go to the gym and so on. But ultimately I also had to make the switch of okay, yes, really loving myself for who I am. And it's already good now and then you can let go even more. Then you can let even more ballast flow off you. But that really has to do with self-love at the core. A hypnotic gastric band, you already said it, that's a band-aid, because that's the same as a real gastric band. Yes, you can temporarily eat less, but you're not doing it because you love yourself so much that you just allow yourself to take in good nutrition instead of filling. No, you're doing it because there's just not room for more. But like with a real gastric band, a hypnotic gastric band, eventually if you don't make the right adjustments, you can also start eating through that. So yes, that's why I never do that either. I never apply that either. And you go to the core. Just go to the core, love yourself and from the moment you love yourself, then it's of course still smart to train well and take in good nutrition, eat less than you burn and then it just comes off. Besides that, a hypnotic secret. At moments, I think I sent that to you once too, when you're exercising, you're doing for example the kettlebell swing, yes, be aware that your core is getting stronger and that you're burning fat then. When you visualize that, then it goes faster. Scientific research has shown that with your mental capacities, with your brain you can simply strengthen something physical and also let it go. Because from now on if you think every day that you're training your biceps, but you're not doing it, but you're thinking about it, then your biceps get stronger. Yes, research has been done on it. Research has been done on it. Yes, that works fantastically. But if you also combine that with good nutrition and training, well yes, where you're obviously very good at, in guiding people, then that result will come, but then you do need to tackle that core. Then you also need to look at 'hey, why am I holding onto fat?' For me it was protection. It could also be that you have the idea somewhere that curves are actually very beautiful and that your ideal partner you're still looking for falls for that. And then you can say yes, I want to be slimmer, lose weight, but if you deeply believe yes, but that ideal partner of mine, they fall for that. Yes, then you hold onto things. I'm also thinking of an example you gave me, but I don't know if we can mention that in the podcast of someone who ran into this. I don't know if you remember that. Yes, I'm thinking, because I have there are of course I have clients who indeed run into that and where the process goes slower than with someone else. And I indeed always try to go deep and think hey, then I also look at that. Because then I look at the nutrition, then I think well, the nutrition is actually fine. I also can't watch 24/7. No. So I have to honestly say I don't know what they do, because ultimately it does come down to it. Someone loses weight when they eat less than they consume. Yes. But besides that, moments when you indeed sabotage yourself, then you unconsciously still eat. Yes. And I obviously don't see that. No. And what's underneath that then indeed? Yes. We can discuss that but I'm just thinking who I, where I talked about then. Doubt then like well yeah, sure. Yes, yes, yes, about getting pregnant. Yes, I'm just not sure if we can mention it. I remember now, I remember now. It's indeed actually being too heavy, wanting to lose weight. Then you indicated, yes, but she wants to get pregnant. She wants to have a round belly, that's her ultimate dream. As long as she doesn't get pregnant, there's only 1 other way to get a round belly. Hold onto fat. And then it would be interesting, I'm not saying that's it, but then it would be interesting to investigate that. And do something with it. Yes, so there's always a deeper layer underneath when people really get stuck in losing weight and it doesn't go so naturally. Because there are also quite a few who just lose weight very quickly. But I myself, I always try to look as deep as possible too. Because with nutrition and exercise alone, almost no one manages it in the long term. No, no exactly. No, you need to move towards a new lifestyle and I would then say towards a new identity. Well, that's exactly what I was about to say, a different identity. I just closed a client who has a totally different identity. Actually most of the men I've guided, who I saw at the beginning and at the end or who I also saw live. Yes, totally different kind of man. Different way of talking, different actions, different presence, different energy. Yes, exactly. Totally. And then I don't do anything with hypnosis, but you can imagine if someone comes to me and first does hypnosis and then enters a program. Yes, that's I think. Yes, Yes, that's certainly magic. Just because it works on multiple levels and I'm also in favor of that. So when someone comes to me, then I also look at nutrition and movement. Actually at training. I often call it movement to be a bit careful still, but it's just training. So how well do you train, how well do you feed yourself? And when something is missing there, yes, then I also send them to a friend of mine. And that's not because he's a friend of mine, but he's just a personal trainer. So he gets to work with that and that's just really important. When you're missing that and those are often people from Breda, so yes, I can of course also send people to other places for you. That just works really well when I know they deliver good work. But I always look at the complete picture. Because when you adjust both the nutrition and the training, also do a test based on, for example, the omega 3, omega 6 balances, just to mention a very simple test. You do a training test, a fitness test, but you're also going to adjust people's environment and have them train in the right way. When you adjust that whole package, such an identity shift really happens super quickly. And people have then just created a different reality for themselves. And then that reality just becomes their new reality and that then fits their identity again. That little circle is so cool to see. And yes, always when people just hold onto fat longer than necessary given their training intensity and nutrition they're taking in, then there's something underneath. And everyone who yo-yos, same thing. Yeah, right? It's indeed Has nothing to do with crash diets. Because even if you do a crash diet and you love yourself deeply and you do it the right way, then you do that up to a certain point and then you can just continue after that to keep eating well. Then you don't crash completely. But when you use a crash diet and you crash completely, then you do that because you're sabotaging yourself. You're hurting yourself unconsciously in a conscious way with that. So you don't do it on purpose. It's not that you say 'yes, but I'm really going to torture myself'. But underlying that, it is there, that you don't allow yourself or it's not allowed by yourself. And often those are the people who when they get through that and they get past it and they use that energy, they often go sky high. And I think that's cool to see. Yes, that's beautiful. So for that, people could indeed also come to you. I want to go back very briefly to earlier we talked about a story you tell yourself. We all tell ourselves stories and actually we hypnotize ourselves. Of course we're also kind of hypnotized by society. Certainly what you see in the news. People believe what they see in the news, but people also very often believe their own story. How do you then make people aware that they believe their own story? Because that of course has consequences again on their identity and who they are and also what they believe when you turn on the TV. Yes, yes certainly. Every hypnotist, hypnotherapist has their own quote about what they think hypnosis is, their own statement. I always say hypnosis is the story you believe yourself. That's a nice one. And you only need to believe in a different story and you have a different outcome. Now it's also the case that the story you believe yourself, that is indeed just shaped by everything you take in. So when you talk about nutrition, then you're talking about food. But what do you feed your brain? You can't not take something in to your brain. So a moment, yes, simple pink elephant thing. By the way, I always thought that was stupid, because I never had a picture of a pink elephant, so I never saw it either. Just don't think about an NS train and the colors that go with it. Yeah, that's impossible. Then you just think of yellow and blue. At least, I think those are still the colors. So you can't not take something in. So it's very important that you determine what you take in. Apart from the people you surround yourself with, because your brain synchronizes with that. But also yes, what do you listen to? What podcasts do you listen to? What books do you read? What do you watch on TV? Do you watch series? Do you watch documentaries? Doesn't matter. You can't armor your brain to not believe it. Just like the apps on your phone, you can't armor yourself against those either. Why? There are neuroscientists, entire teams behind it to ensure that you stay addicted to that phone, because they earn their money from it. Yes, they're not smarter themselves, but they can manipulate your brain much better than you can manipulate your own brain. We're just not capable of that, because we're also just animals who just have and follow animal instinct. So everything in your environment determines who you are. So how can you make people aware of this? Yes, very honestly, if you really look in the mirror, maybe don't do it in the mirror, because that's often confronting, but take pen and paper and write down everything in your life that you're happy about now. And write down everything in your life that you're not happy about. And maybe you need to pause him for a moment and just do this right away. So write down what you're happy about, what you're not happy about. And then, diplomatic pause, then you see everything you're not happy about is a consequence of the story you believe yourself and everything you're happy about too. So everything that exists in your life has arisen as a result of the story you believe yourself. Because based on what you deeply believe inside, that creates your reality. When you believe that you can be a top footballer, then you take all the steps and there's a good chance that you really will belong to a certain top. Doesn't mean you'll immediately play Champions League, but if necessary it's the main class. But at least you get much closer than when you don't believe it. If you don't believe it, yes, then it doesn't happen at all. When you want to be a successful entrepreneur and you deeply believe completely that that's the case, then that happens too. If that's not there yet, then you have something somewhere in you that's holding you back and that's something you tell yourself on an unconscious level. And some people say 'yes, no, I know my thoughts, I don't think that'. Okay, but why isn't it there yet then? Like with me for example. Exactly. Unconsciously. Unconsciously yes, because you yourself know okay, I can do it, you've already done it. Yes, you've already been successful. You've already felt what it's like. You've already achieved that. You can do it. And yet you didn't quite believe it. So yes, which story do you believe? And then it's easier to adjust your identity. Because when you adjust your identity to someone who believes that, then you believe that and then the outcome is inevitable. And then I also immediately make the link with manifesting, because that's what you learn, that you have to see your future ahead of you. But as long as there are still unconscious layers lying there that you don't actually know about, then you can manifest like crazy, as it's told. Like I've already done everything, with me it always went differently. Until I completely surrendered to life. Yes. But if there's still an underlying blockage there, a layer, a belief somewhere not in it, then little is going to happen, I think. Then certainly little is going to happen for sure. And it's the belief that lies underneath that helps you or doesn't help you. And when you keep taking the right steps, then something always happens. But then there also always comes a moment when it turns against you again. Well that. I mean, you can also yo-yo. Yes, exactly. Because when I started doing competitions, I saw myself already standing on the podium with that trophy, first prize, you know. Just completely the feeling. I always came third. Did 5 competitions, always third. Then I was actually already working with manifesting, that's quite a while ago already, almost 10 years ago. I was already working with it then. So I think that's, subconscious, that's quite an interesting thing, that many people I think skip over. Yes, yes certainly, because they think when I think it or I write it down, then it's so. Now it is the case, when you're going to write down 10 goals for 30 days in a row, in the morning and evening, that you want to achieve within a certain time. Some are a bit bigger, those can all be big goals, you can write them all down. You're also going to feel friction in that, because sometimes you also write down goals that aren't actually yours, that don't quite fit you. You use the word inner being, I think that's a very nice one. When it really fits you completely and you write it down, then that touches a different feeling than when it doesn't fit you. And many people also write down goals or think about goals they want to manifest, which doesn't actually quite belong to those people. And that's often given from 'yes, but if I achieve that goal, then I'm someone, then I'm successful, then I show it too or then I have money or whatever or then I come into contact with those people, but then it's not your actual goal. So that's also a technique to find out that you might be, a nice metaphor is, climbing the wrong mountain. There are many people climbing a mountain and they want to achieve a certain goal because their parents happen to think they should achieve that goal. That's also the reason I did a family constellation with you at the very beginning, because often parents are still unconsciously in the way. Looking along. What would my father think of that? Yes, that thought, even if it's just very subtle, it's so dangerous, doesn't work. So it's very important to really climb your own mountain. Yes, you find that out by doing unconscious work, so with hypnosis. But you can also write down 10 goals you want to achieve every morning, every evening. Make them really big too and truly yours, so that you really have the feeling of yes, but this is what I really want to achieve. Yes, after a month you discover that there are a few goals in there that aren't yours at all. That's a good one. You've given some nice exercises I think for the listener. Yes, I like that too. Because you can of course say yes, you all have to come to me, but that's not necessary, because you can already take certain steps yourself. How wonderful would it be if it were available to many people, if it actually belonged in regular healthcare. Edwin Selij, that's a good one to do, he's currently running a petition. Yes, great. To really get it into regular healthcare. Because on one hand you obviously have the people where I say okay, full potential must come out. I think everyone should do that, but there are also really many people who simply live with a very heavy burden. They go through life heavily and I wish for them that they just go to a, in quotation marks, normal hypnotherapist and at least get rid of that burden. Because that can be done with hypnosis just so fast, so much faster than with a psychological program. I can really be moved by that. I once had a client who had been going to regular mental healthcare for 17 years and was told, yes, that depression of yours, we can't get rid of it. So she called me crying. She says, I now have to do another 2 years of schema therapy and then they hope it will diminish somewhat. Can you help me? Can you reduce it? I say, shall we just solve it? And this is really one of the bigger success stories of course that I'm telling, because it also came from so far. But she came to me and after 2 sessions her depression was just gone. Yes, you have to look. I had to guide her for 2 more sessions to deal with that disbelief of what have I been doing my whole life with all those programs, busy with that, what are they selling me now to go for another 2 years and then only to maintain it. Why? You can think, there's a whole industry behind it with a lot of money and it's of course, it generates a lot of money if you just have a monthly subscription to antidepressants, because that's what it is, a subscription model. Yes, nothing more than that. That brings a lot of money in, you could say. And then you could say, yes, there are higher powers that want very much evil. Perhaps, maybe not, doesn't matter. It's inherent to a large system that it often goes the wrong way. There are multiple books written about that that investigate it. Yes, large systems, that just happens to them. But the fact is that there are also just a lot of psychologists who don't completely support that either and who would also want something different, but often don't have the tools at all. And yes, for a psychologist who's already up to here, to then also do a complete training to become a hypnotherapist and then in their own time or from a basic position. That's just difficult. So if it comes into regular healthcare, then we can just really take a bite out of the waiting lists, creating some peace and space for psychologists to also acquire other techniques, so they can also get through it a bit faster. Because I'm sure they're all there. There are really many with their heart in the right place, they all went into it to help people. Because otherwise you don't do that work. It's just hard work for little and you really get a lot of shit thrown at you. Yes, a lot. A lot of shit. And not only from the environment of those people, but from the people too, just constantly problems. The moment that peace and space can arise in that whole care field by adding hypnotherapy, yes, that's only worth gold. And then you're only talking about the therapy side, because yes, that's what I also do on the side for people. As I said, I sometimes also help people get rid of a problem in 3 sessions, because I just also sometimes get people who just really want to get rid of something. Yes, because where can people find you? What is your offer? What clients are you there for? Yes, and where can you be found? Where am I to be found? Hypdomaster dot nl. I'll always put it in the show notes too. Great. Also add me on LinkedIn, I really like that. Paul Vet just. TH? With TH, yes. There are 4 others in the Netherlands. I think they're also on LinkedIn, but yes, with me there's something with hypnosis underneath. I only come across you, I think. Okay. My offer, yes, I already said it, it has just changed because I really do want to show people that the suffering they've experienced is actually something positive. And people also often find that scary and just not nice to hear, because people are stuck in it being negative. But my new offer is based on that. I offer a single breakthrough session to really shift your identity, so the Identity Shift, the session. Then we're really just going to work full throttle for 3 hours. High speed though, with a lot of impact and a shift. Well, we've been busy for an hour and fifteen minutes. You can imagine what's possible in 3 hours. So you will leave afterwards, completely hypnotized with a different identity. Besides that, I offer a six-month program to really make an identity shift. That's really for elite entrepreneurs who say: 'hey, I'm now at a point and I know there's so much more inside. I feel it in everything in me and it's not coming out. And then you've already tried everything, therapy or healing or those kinds of things. Maybe coaching sessions or breath sessions. But from normal therapy it's still done negatively and carefully about the suffering that has been. I'm really going to use that as a kind of atomic energy in that six-month program to really hypnotize that into the future. Into your future, so in the now, because the future doesn't exist. And besides that, I've also developed a really awesome new technique for that, which I won't reveal, because then your brain can get in the way, but to ensure that there are also other qualities and competencies that you already possess, suddenly really also, that there's also atomic energy under those and they also come to expression. That's also for top athletes by the way, that's a really cool technique that I also apply with top athletes. I sometimes work with them too. I often can't name them online, because they often want to keep it behind the scenes. And then I have an annual program, but that's really for the top 1 percent entrepreneurs. That's an all-encompassing program where we shift the entire identity, not just in terms of mind, but then in the six-month program I also look at nutrition and exercise and I can refer you. But with that annual program, then I really work together with a health team. And there will be, and this is also something new, also an 'identity shift' workshop coming. So those are actually the things I offer. Nice. And you can read about that on my website or add me on LinkedIn and ask questions about it. A quick call is of course always the most convenient. Well, great. I thought it was a very nice conversation Paul and I actually have many more questions, but otherwise the podcast will become really long I think. Yes, we'll just do a new variant again. But I think we've already covered a lot here, that listeners can already do a lot with this. Yes, great. I thought it was really nice that you were in my podcast Paul, were a guest. Yes, I enjoyed it. My pleasure. Session of course too. Yes, great. Well, thank you. I think it's super cool to be a guest, also just to be able to speak to other people and introduce them to hypnosis and what's all possible. Because I do one part, but there's so much more possible with it. Cool to talk about that with you. Thank you. Yes, really cool, thank you. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.