Why Calm Authority Sells Better Than Urgency in Marketing
Calm authority sells better than urgency because stress hormones are contagious. If you feel stressed while marketing, your audience feels it too, and stress kills trust.
4 min read
Why Does Urgency in Marketing Push Customers Away?
Urgency pushes customers away because stress hormones are contagious. If the person delivering the message feels stressed, the audience feels that stress too, and stress is never a good thing in a connection.
Paul Veth learned this the hard way while managing several bars and a big club on Mallorca. The club wasn't open yet, tourists kept arriving, and he felt this urgency to give every guest the best time of their life. He was working until 4:00 in the morning and starting again at 10:00. Every morning felt like: we have to make it happen, we have to grow, we have to improve. He was running between bars, chasing the other part of the island for glasses and stuff like that, constant energy, nonstop.
Then a colleague from the management team pulled him aside and said something that stuck: people feel a little bit stressed because of you. They don't feel control. They don't feel trust. They don't feel authority. They just feel stress. And they were right. Because Paul was the manager, he was seen as the authority. And when the authority is stressed, the staff gets stressed, and the guests feel it too. Stress hormones are contagious. That's not a theory, that's something Paul Veth watched play out in real time, night after night on Mallorca.
What Happened When Paul Veth Slowed Down at a Phone Company?
After the Mallorca experience, Paul Veth took a management role at a big phone company in Holland during the rollout of fiber. He approached the same kind of urgency with calm instead of stress, and it changed how people responded to him.
The company was working with fiber for the first time, new territory, plenty of urgency in the air, plenty of stress among the teams. But not for Paul anymore. Something had clicked after that conversation on Mallorca. He started talking in a calmer way, approaching people and situations differently. There was still urgency in the business, they still wanted speed, but he understood something most managers miss: you don't need the feeling of urgency in every touch with customers, guests, or staff. Within a connection, there is no need for urgency.
That distinction matters more than it sounds. Speed and calm aren't opposites. Paul Veth is clear about this: people can be fast and still feel calm, and people can be slow and still feel stressed. It's not about pace. It's about the state you're in when you deliver the message.
How Should Entrepreneurs Use Scarcity and Waiting Lists Honestly?
Scarcity and waiting lists work well when they're honest and the mechanism does the work, not your tone. Paul Veth uses a waiting list for Identity First Marketing simply because the service isn't ready yet, not to manufacture pressure.
Paul Veth is direct about this: timers, waiting lists, and scarcity are fine tools, especially when they're honest. If you're a coach and you only work with two live clients a month, that's real scarcity. You don't need to deliver that fact with urgency in your voice. You can just say it plainly: I work with two live clients a month, and this month I only have one spot left. The mechanism does the selling. You don't have to.
For his own company, Identity First Marketing, Paul Veth is building a waiting list right now because the service isn't ready yet. That's the entire reason for the list. It's not framed as 'everyone wants this, hurry up.' It's framed as: I'm building this service in the AI era to help you with strategy, and that's why we have the waiting list. The list also gives him a way to ask people on it questions and improve the service before launch. When the list fills and the doors eventually open, there can be honest scarcity again, maybe the first five spots at a lower price in exchange for case studies. That's still fair marketing. The difference is the doors opening because of a genuine decision, not because Paul Veth felt stressed about it.
How Do You Recognize Calm Authority Versus Manufactured Urgency in Marketing?
Watch the state a person is in, not their speed. Calm authority can move fast or slow, but it always feels trustworthy. Manufactured urgency, fast or slow, always feels like pressure.
Paul Veth suggests a simple exercise: watch videos from other people and pay attention to the state they're in. Are they calm? Urgent? Fast? Slow? It doesn't matter which, because speed isn't the tell. What matters is the feeling underneath it. If you feel someone's urgency while watching them, that's stressful to watch. It's not fun, it's not calm, it's not easy to sit with. And in marketing, whether it's video, audio, or text, what you actually want to bring is calm authority.
Sometimes that means slowing your breath, your heart rate, your talking. A few filler words are fine, Paul Veth even uses them, but content should stay pointed. The state you're in while marketing might be the most important variable in the entire process, more important than the script, the platform, or the offer itself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are stress hormones contagious in marketing and management?
Because when the person seen as the authority feels stressed, everyone around them picks it up. Paul Veth experienced this directly while managing bars on Mallorca: when he felt urgency, his staff felt stress, and guests felt it too. Stress spreads faster than most people realize, and it never helps a connection.
Is it wrong to use urgency or scarcity in marketing?
No, not if it's honest. Paul Veth points out that timers, waiting lists, and scarcity work well when the scarcity is real, like a coach with only two client spots a month. The problem isn't urgency itself, it's manufactured urgency delivered with stress to pressure people into buying.
What should you do if you feel stressed before recording marketing content?
Don't record in that state, according to Paul Veth. Do breathing exercises, yoga, or hit the gym first. Being physically tired is fine for recording, being mentally stressed is not. Once the stress clears, you can talk with calm authority, and that lands much deeper with your audience.
What is the difference between speed and urgency in marketing?
Speed is about pace, urgency is about feeling. Paul Veth explains that people can move fast and still feel calm, or move slowly and still feel stressed. What determines whether marketing builds trust isn't how fast you talk or act, it's whether you're carrying calm authority or contagious stress while you do it.
How does Paul Veth use a waiting list without creating false urgency?
For Identity First Marketing, Paul Veth built a waiting list simply because the service wasn't ready yet, not to create pressure. It lets him gather interest, ask people questions, and improve the offer before launch. When the list fills and doors open, any scarcity that follows is honest, not manufactured.
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Discussion
The idea that stress hormones are contagious is a strong claim, and it reframes the whole conversation around urgency tactics in marketing. Have you ever noticed yourself pulling back from a brand or offer because something felt off, even if the deal looked objectively good?
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