Why Everything Is Your Fault (The Most Powerful Mindset)

Welcome to the Paulvette podcast. I'm not going to talk about how it should be done, but mainly about who you need to be. I challenge you to become the owner of your true identity. Time for your breakthrough and pleasure in your business. This is the most powerful mindset you can have, and that is believing that everything is your fault. But watch out, it may be that you can't handle that mindset yet. Then you first have a number of steps to take. The moment you dare to grow towards that, then you can finally really take 100 percent ownership, also called extreme ownership, which I think is nonsense, because it's just 100 percent ownership. How I see this is when I was managing a team at KPN, I had a team of 25 employees and my manager would sometimes come to me and say someone from your team, I won't mention names of course, is doing something wrong. And of course it's my job to already know that anyway. So I knew that too. But it's also my job to then say that someone from my team who makes a mistake is my mistake. That's my fault. Even if someone else did it. So it really did happen sometimes that someone from my team performed an action and I had explicitly said that that action should not be performed. Then you could say 'Okay Paul, you did everything right,' but apparently not. Because if someone from my team still performs that action while I say you can't perform that action, then I communicated that incorrectly. Then that's on me. Then I didn't ensure that my team, in this case this one person, had sufficient resources, trust, knowledge to 100 percent understand that that action should not be performed. That's on me. So I always made sure that when my manager came to me and if my team had done something wrong, then my manager would never tell that to the team. Because I always said that's my fault and I would solve that in my own way within the team. And that's extreme ownership. Even though you might think, and with you really many people. Maybe you already think differently. But many people will think yes, but isn't it also the responsibility of that person from your team? That's correct. There is also a responsibility for that person. But for me from my perspective it was my fault, my blame. Because it was my responsibility that my team does the right things. And then I can blame it on circumstances or on someone else. But the most powerful mindset, because that's what I'm talking about, is deciding okay, it's my responsibility that my team performs all actions in the best way. Does their work in the best way. That's my responsibility. If that doesn't happen, then that's also my responsibility, my fault. That's taking ownership. 100 percent of then I take 100 percent control. Because then I'm going to look at okay, how can I ensure that that mistake won't be made again. You see? Then besides the responsibility you also suddenly have a form of power. Power, people find that an unpleasant word sometimes. But I think yes, if I'm sitting in the car and I have power over the steering wheel, that's better than losing it. Losing power over the steering wheel is not pleasant. So maintaining power control is enormously important. Because you can only do that if you also decide okay, everything in my life is my responsibility. And not pushing it away, because that's easy. Yes, that's someone from my team. I didn't do it. I'll address that person. Then you're also kind of off the hook. Can you say that to your manager, who tells it to the director? Yes, Paul he passes it on to the employee who made the mistake. No. No, Paul is going to arrange that his team won't make those mistakes again. It's not the employee's fault. And then you can turn it around 100 percent. Then you can say as an employee I made that mistake. I should have done that better. Paul told me exactly what I had to do and I didn't do it. That is from the perspective of the employee taking 100 percent ownership. But do you see what happens then? Suppose the employee does that. They're going to look at okay, I knew this, I did it wrong. They take 100 percent ownership of that. And I realize okay that employee didn't do it right the first time and I take 100 percent ownership of that. How much growth can you then go through with your team the moment you start looking that way and you as a leader also set that good example? That you also go to your employee and say hey apparently you performed these actions. I had said this. How can I make it easier for you next time to do it right? How can I help you with that? Then I take ownership, I show that too. I don't scold the employee at all. Not at all. I show okay, I take my responsibility. And that invites the employee to also say, but I did it wrong, don't I have to do it differently then? Yes yes, that's correct, it is. How can I help you with that? No need, I get it, I'll do it this way. And that person won't make the mistake again. That piece of taking ownership is super important in everything in your life. Whether it's with your team, towards yourself, towards your business, towards your friends, towards your partner, towards everyone. Suppose I schedule a meeting with you. Suppose you want to call me to see if we can work together. And with me you can schedule that and then when you schedule it you get a notification with a time, you just get it neatly in your email. It also neatly states how and where. So in my case we do that via Zoom 2 days in advance or 1 day in advance. I don't know how I set it up, but in any case at the latest 48 hours in advance you get another reminder with the link in it again, the zoom link and the time. And suppose you're not there, then it has no use for me to point at you and say yes you weren't there, it's your fault. No, what could I have done better to ensure that you would be there? Do you see what it does in your brain the moment that sounds almost like a teacher, I don't like that at all, but. Not like that kind of teacher anyway. I do quite like teaching. But do you see that it changes something in your brain? A feeling of ownership and control changes. And precisely taking that feeling of control ensures that you also go through life much more pleasantly. That you can lead your business much more pleasantly. Because the moment you have the feeling of having more control than you think now, then you also have more the idea that you can change more. And that's pleasant, because as an entrepreneur you are that leader and you are the one who has to arrange everything in their company. The impact that is made with your company, the turnover, the profit, you're responsible for all of that. Of course you can give that responsibility to someone else. So suppose you put out a job posting and someone comes for an interview. Then you ask that person hey what do you think you can mean best for me and the business? Where does your great added value lie? How would you approach that? You ask the other person that, because then that person already takes ownership of it. If I have to start telling the other person what they have to do in my business to make that succeed, to make that a success, then it often already doesn't work. So the other person tells me that. They tell me well Paul, I'm going to do this and this, I'm going to do this research, that research. I'm going to tackle this, solve this and approach it this way. Well, then you already have ownership in that. The moment that person also shows ownership for that area, it's still my responsibility that that person can perform their function in the best possible way. So it's always my job to ask how can I help you to do that in the best possible way, the best way. That's my responsibility. And in my entire business I'm responsible from all the way here to all the way there. From the innermost circle all the way to the outermost circle. And everything and everyone who is in there, who is involved in that, that's all my responsibility. Not just the inner circle of my business. No, then you get nasty things. Then you constantly push the responsibility away from you. So that doesn't work. So if you're a director of a company and you have 10,000 employees, then it's your responsibility that each of those employees can perform their work the best. That's your responsibility, your task. And of course you delegate. Of course you put that out to your first circle and they put that out to their circle and they put that out to an even larger circle. But it's still your responsibility that it runs completely smoothly from front to back and back again. And if that goes wrong somewhere and you take 100 percent ownership and you therefore also invite everyone within that circle, that's why it's important to take the whole circle. From innermost circle all the way out. Remember often it's the outermost circle of your business that has customer contact. Often that's the case. You have much less customer contact than when you have a team of 10,000 who all do things for you than that outer edge. They speak to many more customers. So it's useful if they feel safe and trusted so that they can also just make decisions themselves and dare to take 100 percent ownership because you set the good example. I'm digressing a bit, but the moment that you set that good example. I take 100 percent responsibility. If a circle around me makes a mistake, then that's my fault. Then automatically that circle around you will get the same mindset and also take 100 percent ownership. And I guarantee you the moment you succeed in this, that you say everything that is now present in my life is my fault, my responsibility, I'm the owner of that. Even though you might not even directly have an idea what you could have done directly about it, but it does so much in your brain, it gives so much power and control over your own life and your mindset that you go through life much more stably, can handle much more and ultimately can build something much bigger. Because you prove to yourself that you can carry it. So that's taking 100 percent ownership of everything that is in your business and in your life. If you succeed in saying everything that is in my life is my fault. Then you have gold in your hands. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.