Why You're Not Making €1M+: You Decided It as a Child

Welcome to the Paul Fette podcast. I'm not going to talk about how things should be done, but mainly about who you need to be. I challenge you to become the owner of your true identity. Time for your breakthrough and enjoyment in your business. Somewhere in your past, you decided how much you're allowed to earn. Maybe you were 6, maybe you were 16, but today that decision still runs your business. In this video we'll go through the 8 sub-layers of core beliefs. Layer 1 of identity. This is part of the masterclass series on the 5 layers of identity and each layer builds on the next. I'll walk through all 8 with you and it's up to you to determine which layers you're going to tackle. The ones that can provide the biggest breakthrough. We start with self-image. Self-image is really about the picture you have in your head of yourself. So when you think about yourself as the entrepreneur you want to be, what does that picture look like? That's self-image. It's really about the visual aspect. And what you might recognize if this isn't right is that your prices are too low. You don't dare to be visible, for example on social media. You have all kinds of excuses for that, all kinds of beliefs about it. You let opportunities pass by. You notice that enormously. That you actually know yes, that opportunity, that opportunity, that opportunity. Maybe you don't even see them, but if you do see them, you don't grab them. What's a very powerful exercise to expose this is to visualize yourself in 3 years. Eyes closed visualization works best. Close your eyes and think about yourself in 3 years as the entrepreneur you want to be then. And what does that image look like? Is it a sharp, clear image and does it look exactly the way you want? Or is it a weak, vague, small image? Or can you not even manage to get the image in your mind? Because that's information about what your self-image is like. And what you can do very well to turn it around is a variant that I use for top athletes, performance visualization. And you use the very next step that you can get clearly in your mind. So if you can't manage now to get that image in your mind of you in 3 years, then if you look back at okay, if you want to be there in 3 years, you look at in 2 years there, in 1 year there, in half a year there, in 3 months there. And the first step that you can get clearly in your mind, you're going to visualize that, you're going to keep that in mind daily until you notice that the next step also becomes possible. And that's how you give your self-image an upgrade by doing that. Sub-layer 2 decision-making. It's about how quickly do you dare to decide, but especially about what do you dare to decide about. Do you dare to really make big decisions? And you can recognize this if you have a blockage on this that you keep weighing things up, that you keep postponing and not the doing, but keep postponing the decision itself. There's often fear underneath. Or what also often happens is that you leave things to chance. That you just let things happen somewhat. And then eventually it either works out somehow or it goes wrong and you're forced to make a decision. Or someone else makes the decision for you. That happens very often. What you can do to check this with yourself is by writing down. Really just pen and paper or a whiteboard which I also use. Is that you write down the sentence, I postpone because I believe that. So I postpone because I believe that if I make that decision something bad will happen. Or I postpone because I believe I'm not worthy of making that decision. Or I postpone because I want to be liked. It's very important to really take the time for this when you notice in yourself that you're postponing decisions. Because this way you get to the surface what it's about. And I already said that it's often driven by fear. And what the biggest counterpart to fear is, is curiosity and wonder. So what helps a lot is to ask yourself when you want to make a decision, that you think about okay, suppose I make that decision, that you then say with the energy of wonder and curiosity I'm curious what could happen then. And with that energy you also feel that it opens up much more instead of gee, what could happen then? Do you feel that difference? And that's very important. So wonder and curiosity anyway fantastic for all kinds of things, but also for decisions you want to make. Your worldview of course largely determines how you do business. How you see the market, how you see the world determines your choices. How do you recognize what your worldview is by for example thinking that a competitor is a threat to you. Or that the market is already saturated, you can quite quickly think. That of course determines your choices as an entrepreneur. And what's also a fairly relevant recognition that I see happening with many entrepreneurs, is that they no longer really share from passion. Because they're afraid someone else will run off with it. That's a very important recognition point. And one of the most important insights and that exercise I want to give you to do, is to understand the difference between a zero sum game and a positive sum game. And the exercise I want to give you is listen to my story first and if that resonates, okay great. If that doesn't resonate go look for yourself at how you can figure out what the difference is between a zero sum game and a positive sum game, but then completely that you're going to understand that the world works nowadays as a positive sum game. How I learned it is through a simple story. Suppose you and I go eat pizza together and we cut it into 8 pieces, and I take 3 then you have 5. If I take 5 then you only have 3, that's zero sum game. There's always a loser. That comes from the past. Hunter gatherers, if I caught a rabbit you didn't have it. But then we suddenly thought, hey we can cooperate. I can catch a rabbit because I have a spear, but what if I also make a spear for you and you catch 2 rabbits with it? And I make multiple spears for your whole community, you're the rabbit catchers and I'm the spear builders, and suddenly there are rabbits for everyone. And that's how I learned that the world nowadays is a positive sum game and it's such that if you're successful, that's only better for me too. What I just said, figure it out for yourself, but this is really essential that you're going to understand this for yourself. Once you really have that mastered, you'll notice that you can do much more business according to the entrepreneur you always wanted to be. Because you're also going to look from the positivity that if you're a better entrepreneur, if you make much more impact and revenue, then that's not only good for you but for the whole world. Sub-layer 4, relationships. Those are of course very important. Has nothing to do, not directly to do with layer 5 of identity environment. In that you of course deal with others, but it's really about the relationship that you feel deep inside with others. And how you can recognize in yourself or recognize in yourself whether this is correct or not, is by for example noticing that you find it very difficult to say no to others or to see others as equal to yourself. You'll also quickly adjust your opinion to others. So agreeing. And what you'll notice is that you easily see other especially entrepreneurs as bigger, while on paper they may not necessarily be bigger. That feeling is very important to examine in yourself. How you can examine this is by for example thinking about suppose you would go have a cup of coffee or tea tomorrow with an entrepreneur who's much further along than you. How would you feel then? How would you sit? How would you talk? What would you do? How would you look? How do you feel before you go into the conversation? That's a very important indicator, so write that down for yourself too. Be aware of that. It's a very important indicator to notice whether you make yourself equal to that person. And what's really beautiful to turn it around is a very nice way I think. Is often and maybe it also helps to do it now close your eyes. And often it happens when you think about an entrepreneur who's 3, 5 or 10 steps further than you to also place them in the future for you. Or maybe make them bigger in your thoughts than you are. And what's very powerful is to make every entrepreneur who's further along than you equal to you in your thoughts, so to place them next to you And also in terms of height, length make them equally tall. And then I don't know how tall you are. I'm 1 meter 80 and some entrepreneurs are taller, some are shorter. But I place everyone equally in terms of length next to me too. And when you do that you'll notice that that actually also does something with your image formation, with the relationships you feel in yourself with other entrepreneurs. Very powerful. Sub-layer 5, ambitions and goals. I find this one very interesting, because I personally think that we entrepreneurs tend to dream too small too quickly. And how you can recognize this in yourself is that for example when someone asks you about your goals and you're going to express them, that you then mention a smaller goal. That could be a good indication. Or what also happens is that you yourself actually don't even want to admit a bigger goal to yourself. That you don't even dare. That you're going to talk yourself down that it's not for you, that you can't make it true. Or no no, that'll cause all kinds of trouble, that goal. That also often happens. You also often notice resistance when someone else does have a big goal. Then you find them arrogant or you think yeah yeah, sure. Or they're just doing it from their head, but they don't really mean it. Then you find all kinds of things. What you can also notice in yourself is that of course you keep hanging at the same level continuously or even go down a bit. Those are recognition points in yourself when this isn't in order with yourself. And what's a very nice question to ask yourself is think about this calmly what big goal don't you even dare to admit to yourself? Because what if no one's watching, if you can start completely fresh and you're standing in a world where no one knows you, What would that big goal be that you don't even dare to admit to yourself? And maybe you don't even dare to write it down. Maybe something is coming up now in your thoughts that you think yes actually that's what I want. Yes, then dare to write it down. First for yourself. And then you're also going to express that to others. And what's a very nice technique to turn this around for yourself if you still don't dare to write it down, then I always say jokingly, but I mean it too. Actually it's selfish that you don't do that. Because that goal, if you really look at it, it's not about you at all. It's about the other. Because every entrepreneur wants to solve a problem for another. You too. And you ask money for that. You also get money for that. But that's not about you, it's about the other. So if you keep your goal small, suppose you say yes I want to help 10000 people, can you then in all those other people that you can also help, who are also helped with your solution. And now many people say you have to niche, so it's not about everyone. No agreed. But what if 1000000 people would have something from your solution? And you say yes, but I only want to help 10000. Wouldn't that be rather selfish? That's how I see it then. So for yourself that's a very good way to turn it around. It's not about you, it's about the other. So what if you could help as many people as possible with your solution? What would your goal be then? Want to know directly where your breakthrough lies, do the Identity Assessment via the link in the description. This is often the one that most people do recognize when for example you're upset by something that happened. Or you react from fear to something. That can trigger any emotion of course, there's fear underneath that. Or you avoid things precisely. Those are all indicators that in your emotional reactions something isn't yet as you would want it. What's a nice exercise to expose this, that can be by looking back, being reflective or future pacing programming in the future, but it exposes something beautiful. Write down 3 situations once, either in the future or in the past. And think about how you would want to react or how you would have wanted to react in those situations. When you expose that, then you also immediately expose your emotional blueprint and you can also eventually change that. How I want you to eventually turn this around. This helps enormously, especially if there's a lot of fear underneath. And a lot of fear doesn't mean you always react scared. That's not what I mean, but when there are a lot of emotions present, that often arises from a certain form of fear. But how you can turn this around very much is, and I see this also extremely much with top athletes, but also top entrepreneurs who try to control everything. And that control comes from fear. But it's not about you controlling everything around you. It's about you knowing deep inside that whatever happens, you can handle it. When you make that shift to it doesn't matter what happens, I can handle it or even better I'm made for this. So that one stressful deal you have to close that you'd actually want to avoid. When you turn that around to 1 it doesn't matter what happens, I can handle it or 2 I'm made for this. Do you feel that difference? That immediately does something with your feeling and your emotions. The more often you can make that shift, consciously, you'll have to stop consciously at it, the better you're able to for example deal with pressure and stress and that kind of thing. Very valuable. Sub-layer 7, self-fulfillment. This is a very powerful one. This is a big part of self-fulfillment that I'm discussing now and one of the most powerful things. And you can recognize it in yourself when you can gain a lot here. When for example you suffer from imposter syndrome. That you're afraid to fall through the ice or that you know what you should do. Maybe you even say what you're going to do and you don't do it. And that can result in postponement behavior that you postpone doing it. But it can also be that you just don't do it. What's a very powerful exercise to figure this out is to just reflect on last week. And go look at the things you agreed with yourself that you would do, how you would react, what you would do that you didn't do. And write them down once, just as data, as information. Super handy to know that about yourself. Do you find it difficult from last week, then look at today or yesterday. And write down a number of things for yourself. In that you can recognize a pattern. You can also immediately turn it around, the exercise you have to do for this is very simple. And most entrepreneurs make this exercise way too difficult. It's about you saying what you do and you doing what you say. That simple. So I say okay, I'll now put this marker in front of my whiteboard and I do it. That's it. That's saying what I do and doing what I say. Now what most entrepreneurs do who think yes but I want to get this in my system as quickly and as well as possible. So I make a very big agreement with myself and I'm going to try to keep that. That's difficult. So for example already saying now okay, I'm going to eat 100 percent clean every day for the next 3 months. That's nice, but then you have to do that every day for the next 3 months. If you don't do it once, then you lie to yourself and then this part goes wrong. You can better consciously make the small agreements with yourself and make it easy for yourself. Because every time when you say you do something and you do it, then you give yourself more confidence and more confidence in yourself. And that's extremely powerful. So make those agreements consciously as small as possible and actually keep them. So also make sure you only make agreements with yourself that you're actually going to keep. And for this if you notice in yourself yes this is a thing then you shouldn't agree to things like very big goals. Goals are fantastic to determine direction and then focus on the process. But a goal shouldn't be the agreement with yourself. It should be non-negotiable, but it's not the agreement. The agreement is: I put this marker at the top of the whiteboard and I do it. That's it. Sub-layer 8 authenticity. And you recognize this best when you do this, then that's really a big added value for you your social media version. Does that correspond with your real self? And the best way is to go back a few months and look at the texts or the videos there. Preferably the videos of course. And if you see those does that feel like 'hey that's me' or does that feel like a role you're playing. Because from that you can very well notice whether you're very authentic, especially around personal branding, nowadays very important of course in this era as an entrepreneur. You can also notice it in yourself when you're afraid people see your real self or when you're adapting yourself to others, so in different situations, really playing a completely different role. Of course you're different as a partner than when you're sitting with your team, But if that's very close together then you're not adapting very much. What's a nice exercise is to reflect on last week or last month and then write down once in which situations you weren't consciously busy with how you should behave. So when you weren't consciously busy with how should you sit, what should you say, how do you relate to the rest. Because in those moments your real authentic was fully present. And what's a very nice turnaround for yourself is, just imagine that when you're completely yourself and so may be, really completely you, that you then get your business and your life exactly as you want. How nice would it be that you can really be completely yourself and that then automatically the business fits you. If you do that thought experiment then you'll also notice a form of lightness and perhaps curiosity in yourself. Because what if you can just be completely yourself, be the entrepreneur you always wanted to be and then your business makes more impact and generates more revenue and your life becomes much easier and fits you much better. Where I'm not saying you won't take on challenges, but even those challenges match much better with who you are. Feel that difference. This was part 1 core beliefs. In part 2 we'll cover your emotional blueprint. So subscribe so you know for sure you'll get a notification when it goes live. And do you want to know directly on which layer your biggest breakthrough lies? Then do the free Identity Assessment via the link in the description. Your growth is further sparked. Ready to take full ownership? Then check the link in the show notes. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.