Your Past Is Gold: Reframing Your Origin Story (Identity Layer 3)

Welcome to the Paul Vette podcast. I'm not going to talk about how things should be done, but especially about who you need to be. I challenge you to become the owner of your true identity. Time for your breakthrough and fun in your business. The difference between hundreds of thousands and millions, or between millions and more, lies in the story you tell yourself. Especially with entrepreneurs who think and who often tell others about their past. I experienced this, I experienced that, I experienced such and such, and it's all still getting in my way. And that's also becoming truth, because you tell that to others and they go along with it. Yes, of course that's getting in your way, because you've experienced it all. That's nonsense, of course, but I understand it. Look, the story you tell yourself, layer 3 of identity, is enormously important for what's possible for you. And if you want to make a leap, you'll have to tell yourself a different story. But pay attention, it's about your origin story, what do you tell about yourself. That's why I find it really interesting when an entrepreneur writes an autobiographical book. Because when you do that, you tell about things from your past, but you extract the right lessons and opportunities from them that you didn't see before. But when you're writing, you have to be of value to someone else. But why wouldn't you already be of value to yourself right away? That's in the story you tell yourself. Simple example, I could tell myself that I'm not disciplined. Because when I was a DJ, I drank every day. You can also say, hey Paul, when you were a DJ you were super disciplined because you drank every day. Look, when I went to play, I had convinced myself that I had to do a shot before I could play, before I could mingle with the audience, so I could connect a bit with the audience. Because they were all drunk. That was the belief I had. So I always drank one or two shots, and besides that, I'm really a perseverer and I love going all-in. So what did I do? I went all-in and I kept pushing through, so it always turned into drinking. That's why I call it drinking and not a shot or a glass of alcohol. No, and I was so disciplined that I just did it every night for months on end during periods. Because yes, I played every night. And this applies to you too. Look, you can dig into your past and look at hey, during that period I did all this and ruined my life. During that period I wasted all those opportunities. During that period I did something that didn't benefit me at all. That's really a shame, man. That's one way you can see it. But you can also analyze the behavior you exhibited and reframe that positively to okay, what were you doing then and how does that help you? Because you could say hey Paul, you with your drinking, you're a real perseverer. But does that also show in other things? Absolutely, I got to 120 kilos. From 80 kilos, I now weigh 80 kilos, I went to 120 kilos. That's also persevering. You have to eat quite a lot and also go through things, go through boundaries and such, going all-in works fantastically. And that doesn't happen in a week either. You spend quite a few years on that. That's also super disciplined, so that's in me. It's in me, that ability to achieve something, to build something up over years. I can just do that. Look, the fact that it was unhealthy and bad, that's just one side of the coin. But the other side, the same side or the other side of the same coin, is also true. Because if I now apply those characteristics of going full-on all-in in my business, apply the discipline of doing the same thing every day to my business, going all-in persevering in my business, then I get a nice result if I do the right things. But it's about rewriting my story. Because I can say yes, when I was a DJ I ruined my life. I never became that top DJ. I never became world famous. But that's bullshit, of course, because I definitely learned to know talents and competencies about myself there when I look back at it. And of course I've extracted many more lessons. That's maybe for another video. But when you look at your origin story, at the story you tell yourself from your past, do you see the patterns and characteristics that you naturally almost carry with you that you're not using now because you've come to see them somewhere as something bad? I did that for a long time too. Drinking alcohol, eating a lot, I saw as something bad. And of course the action I performed was bad, but the mechanism underneath it is something good. And if you now look at what behavior have you displayed for a long time that you now despise, which means you might also despise that mechanism you carry in you, which means you don't make that leap because you just hold yourself back a bit. Because you think, that's what you tell yourself, layer 3 of identity, the narrative layer, 'if I exhibit that behavior again, it will end badly'. Yes, bullshit of course, it's about what you do with it. Because if you use that for good, what would be possible for you if you look at those characteristics that are naturally in you and if you use them for good in your business? What impact can you make then? What revenue can you generate then? What revenue and impact can you carry then? What can you handle? So go look at your past and look at the periods that you think ooh, those are really bad. There I really wasted things. And then look at what characteristics did you show there? What was the mechanism that caused that behavior to occur? And then reframe those characteristics to something positive and start doing that more in your current business. So also look at okay, if those are my strengths and I would do more of that in my business, what would my business look like then? What things would you actually have to do then? What do you need to do more of? And also what do you need to do much less of? Because that's where it is, of course. The moment you keep doing the same thing as now, you'll keep getting the same result. And the moment you make that shift to okay, if I do more of that and less of that, then there's an imbalance and then growth can occur. Because growth doesn't occur in balance. It has to be imbalance and then growth occurs. So I want to impress upon you to look at yourself honestly, also at the things you may have hidden away because you're not proud of them. You don't have to be proud of them either, as long as you're grateful for them. That's always my view on that. Be grateful for the things you've done, the things you haven't done, that in hindsight you think yes, I should have done that or shouldn't have done that. And look at what qualities of yours have you been hiding all this time because you thought, yes, only something bad came from that. Because what if that strength helps you to make a lot of impact, to generate a lot of revenue, to grow a business many times larger, maybe times 10 or times 20, because you're finally going to fully utilize those primal strengths and primal talents that are in you. Without brakes, but with more gas. What would be possible for you then? And it also affects the rest, you know. Because the stories you tell yourself. If you tell yourself, I have to be careful not to fall back into that old behavior, because we often tell ourselves that, then you hold back. That means you won't exhibit certain behavior. That means you stay away from a certain environment. Layer 5 of that identity environment, layer 4 behavior. That you block emotions because you might be afraid that you'll exhibit that behavior again. Emotions layer 2, if you suppress that, what a waste, because especially your passion and drive as an entrepreneur must be underneath it. Yes, how passionate can you be when you start seeing things as strength again? And then your core beliefs. Those are of course also very much determined by what you tell yourself. And if you keep talking yourself down because you've simply been someone who has done things in your past that you're not proud of. Then you could still say somewhere deep inside yes, who am I anyway? Look at me, where I come from? And now I come with this. And that's a waste, because you have gold in your hands as an entrepreneur. You solve problems for others, for money. And if you also start using really big levers by really deploying your talents, then it can only become really great. So yes, this works through on every layer of identity. Your core beliefs become different when you reframe your origin story differently. Your emotions become different, because suddenly you can talk with confidence and passion again about the things you do that you're strong in. Because you can say yes, I'm sorry I was bad for myself and I don't want to relapse because I'm afraid of drinking again. Or you say yes, I was very good at drinking. Full-on discipline all-in. So I'm now deploying that in the business. Immediately credible for yourself and for everyone who hears you. Immediately the reframe, immediately it's positive. Well, we're talking about the stories you tell yourself. Layer 3 of identity. Layer 4 your behavior. You're going to exhibit different behavior, because you suddenly tell yourself that you are that entrepreneur who makes that leap. Different behavior belongs to that. What I just said, and your environment also adapts differently to you, because you're finally being much more yourself and showing real strength and competencies that you've been dimming all this time. Because it would be a waste if you keep doing that. And then on every layer of identity you're more yourself and the business is simply propelled by your fire. That's what I wish for you. Your growth is further fueled. Ready to take full ownership? Then check the link in the show notes. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.