Why Behavior Change Alone Never Works (5 Identity Layers)

Welcome to the Paul Vette podcast. I'm not going to talk about how things should be done, but mainly about who you need to be. I challenge you to become the owner of your true identity. Time for your breakthrough and enjoyment in your business. People always think that behavioral change is sufficient for transforming their life and their business. Unfortunately, it often doesn't work that way. How many times have you already tried to change your behavior? Then you do it for a while and one person keeps it up for 3 days, another for 66 days. But then there's something, then it gets busier, something changes and you just fall back again. That's because behavior is just one layer of the layers of identity. And even then, one of the outer layers. Environment is layer 5, behavior is layer 4. Those deeper layers, that's where the gold is, the deepest layer especially. Look, at the moment when you adjust your environment but your behavior doesn't match the environment, then the environment spits you out. The moment you adjust your behavior but the stories in your head don't match that behavior, then that behavior simply gets worked out. It just goes away, you simply stop doing it. It doesn't work. The best thing is simply to change every layer of identity. You can do all of that simultaneously, of course. You can apply identity syncing by working with me and then we're going to reshape every layer of behavior. We're going to make sure that you indeed start showing different behavior, but then more automatically rather than it being really persistent, full of discipline, full of determination, because it has to be. That doesn't work, determination doesn't work. No, you have to want it deep inside. And you can say you want something, but do you truly feel that you truly want it? Look, at the moment when you truly want something, then you don't need any external sources of motivation anymore. You want it very much and what you want is often linked to a goal. That's the external source of motivation then. Because you want it so much, that gives power, it gives energy. You go for it because it comes from within. It's not a layer on the outside. Okay, so what is the second layer? Because we have layer 5 which is environment, layer 4 is behavior. Layer 3 are the stories you have in your head, that you tell yourself, that already come up from your unconscious. Then there are your emotions about which people always say yes, you have no control over those. That's bullshit. Because your beliefs from within, they determine what your emotions become. Very simple, if I call you a stupid power strip, then you laugh it off. It does nothing to you. But if I say to you hey yeah, you're a bad entrepreneur, a bad father, a bad brother, a bad sister, a bad mother. One of those things will definitely hit home because you've doubted it yourself at some point. And then it touches a certain belief, a core conviction of yours deep inside. And then the emotion comes up. So you definitely have control over the emotions. Because at the moment when you simply know 100 percent for certain that you are the best mother for your child or the best brother or the best entrepreneur in everything you do, while also making mistakes. I'm not saying you're perfect, but that you're doing everything you can, at the moment when you believe that. Then those emotions won't be triggered anymore either. So you simply have control over your emotions then. Besides that, you also have control over your emotions by actually feeling them completely. Just like a steering wheel in a car when you grab hold of it, then you have control over it. If you stay away from emotions, you have no control over them at all if you don't want them. And if you don't want that steering wheel, you have no control over it either. That happens with your emotions too. So what is that deepest layer? Well, that's your core beliefs from your unconscious. That deep belief in yourself. At the moment when you don't change that, then you can adjust every layer of identity. But if that doesn't align with what you deeply believe about yourself, what your core convictions are, what the unconscious things are that you tell yourself. Then it doesn't work. Then it will never succeed. Then you can be surrounded by fit people, by successful people. But if you don't believe that you are that too, then you reject all of that. Then you simply don't want to be part of that. That simply doesn't work. So it's nice that people say yes, behavioral change, at the moment when you do that, then you eventually get a different identity. That's correct at the moment when you keep doing that behavior from now on always. Then there's also a way that the stories you tell yourself and the emotions that come with them and the belief you have deep inside, that that actually gets changed. But it's much more robust to start at layer 1, at the unconscious part, your core convictions. And it's even much more robust, even antifragile, to tackle every layer. So at the moment when you want to change your identity, then please address your unconscious core conviction, address emotions, get to work with that, feel them consciously, notice what that does to you and take control over it. The narrative layer from yourself. Get to work with the things you tell yourself. Write it down. Write down 10 goals every day that you have already achieved. Not that you have actually achieved, but that you have achieved in the future, but then in the present tense. Write that down and the stories in your head change. Your behavior, you can of course simply start showing different behavior. Exercise more often, exercise better and you become fitter. Manage your money better and deal with it. Make sure you let your money grow. Have insight into that and you simply become better with money. It's as simple as that. Deal with the environment, the fifth layer, spend time with entrepreneurs who are successful, especially in the areas where you still lack success. And you will achieve that too. Do it on every layer and your identity changes incredibly fast. Don't fall into the trap that someone only says adjust your environment and that's it. That doesn't work. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.