Don't Build Your Business on Fear

Welcome to the Paulvette podcast for entrepreneurs who are ready to break through their patterns and take the next step. This week I was talking with a person, never names. It wasn't a session either, but I was just having a conversation with them. And what was very special was this entrepreneur, who told me what his goals were. He also told me what he wanted to do and in what way. And I already didn't think it was a good idea what he was telling me. But that's not always up to me of course, especially not when I'm just in conversation with an entrepreneur. But what I mainly noticed was that when he was talking about it, I saw something change in his posture. He told me that he had a certain goal to organize his business in a certain way. And when you spoke about that, you saw that his chin went down a little and his shoulders came forward a bit as if he wanted to protect something near his heart. I'm exaggerating it now of course, but I did see that happen. So I wondered where that came from, that he wanted to organize his business in that way. So I just asked, because you can just ask that. Hey, what makes you want to organize your business this way? Because a lot of others do it in a different way. And then I saw in him that this posture became even more pronounced. His chin went down even further and I saw something happen in his eyes. And then I knew for sure. There was a fear underneath. And in that really nice open conversation he told me that something had happened while he was in business earlier. He wanted to avoid being in that situation again at all costs. Now that's often logical when a certain situation happens to an entrepreneur. If you're an entrepreneur and you experience something, then you want to prevent that at all costs. But that can of course be done in a smart constructive way. Or you start avoiding certain things that you shouldn't want to avoid at all as an entrepreneur. And that nuance is enormously important. And what was cool was, we weren't having that conversation just the two of us, but there were multiple people sitting at our table. And someone else made what he had experienced light. Not in an unpleasant way, not to push it away, not to laugh at him, but just to make it light. Because that person couldn't really handle the stress of such a situation well. And because he made it light, I saw in the person himself, in the entrepreneur, I saw that he also started to think about it lightly. He also started to laugh about it a bit. Not to really laugh at himself, but with a bit of self-deprecation. And also with a bit of pride like yes, it was actually pretty cool what happened. And in that state of being, because that's a different state of being, you're connected to a different identity of yourself. I asked him, hey but if you sit like that and you feel this way that you can, and I can see it, look at it with a bit of pride and with a bit of humor, in the moment when you think about the future of your business. And then a different future came out. And that's so important for you too to think about from which state of being do you make choices for the future of your business. Because many people make a choice for the future of their business in the line that they're already moving on. But that line also comes from all behaviors from the past. Not just things you've experienced in business. And if you run a business where the stakes are high, then that ensures that there's always stress involved. And then it can be that you're building the future of your business on the same stress and fear thought as you've had at certain moments in your business in recent years. But that's not how you want to build your business. So what's just a really cool exercise to do, is to put yourself in a position. On a chair, that works fine. Shoulders back so you feel, hey, I was proud of that one thing. That was actually quite an adventurous thing. That with that feeling of pride and adventure you start thinking wow. What could I do with my business? What am I working towards? Then you'll notice that perhaps different things come into your thoughts than those you've thought before. Simply because you take on a different position. You can also take on a power pose, arms crossed, hands on hips, cheering. It all does something with the hormones and chemicals in your brain, which makes your brain simply react differently. Now I'm not saying that's always the best vision that comes from that, but it's definitely different than when you think from fear. And of course you have to take with you the things you've done in the past that you've learned shouldn't be done that way. And it's not either/or. And you have to look at the person you are when you look in the mirror. You look in the mirror and you think that's the kind of entrepreneur I am. Yes, then also do business in that way. Think about your business in that way. And this yes it's a bit of a gimmick, trick, but a very real trick that also works when you start talking to people. So for example in the past I worked in a sales department at a large telephone company. Yes, I'm sitting on a chair now. Yes, now I'm slouching. If I had conducted a sales conversation in this way, then the chance that I would be good at sales would have been much smaller. You always have to do sales in a way that suits you. So if you're a bit more laid back then this style would suit you. But then it's not smart to also sit in a laid back way. So what did I do? I immediately asked that company hey, do you also have standing desks? Because the moment when I stand, when you stand and you sell, even if it's just by phone, once via Zoom or something, you stand then you're in a completely different energy. Then you also carry a completely different energy to the person on the phone than when you sit. That's totally logical. So this technique of adjusting your state is really genius. Also especially because your body. I might share something else about this content-wise. But your body can also position itself in a certain way so that a neutral position of your body automatically anchors fear. Sometimes even traumas. What I sometimes do in a session is just position someone. And then it's very interesting when someone or you just stand in the way you normally stand. And then you let yourself be taken out of that normal position. And then the one that's comfortable for you. But to then talk about the things or think about the things you're running into, you'll notice that you seriously think about it differently because your brain simply reacts differently when you're in a different posture. So you can really apply this to countless points. Should you currently be blocking on something, try approaching it from a different position. You can of course also go for a walk. That's a much-heard tip already, but so you can also stand or sit in a different position which makes your state of being different. The boss trick is of course to do ten push-ups and then stand up. Yes, then you feel different too. But it just depends on what choices you have to make and what kind of blockages you have. But this one is really very valuable. That entrepreneur I spoke with, yes he also just knows okay yes but the choices I want to make for my business is just not the right choice, because it's born from a fear. And that fear isn't even real anymore. That fear simply arose in a certain moment where that fear was touched. Maybe that fear wasn't even there before it was triggered, but there was that trigger, there was that moment. And this entrepreneur is afraid that such a moment will come again. But he'll automatically make sure that that's not the case. So that's just not the right way to think about it. Enough about that. I'm certain that if you start playing with this, so taking on a different posture while you're thinking about certain things in your business, that it's really going to give you nice, new, clear insights. Please let me know under the video or if you're listening via audio, let me know under the podcast. And if you really notice blockages in yourself that you know I'm acting from fear, from fear of failure or I experience too much stress in my life as an entrepreneur? Yes, then sound the alarm. Send me a DM, send me an email and then we can look together at what I can do for you. I wish you a very nice day of course and I hope everything's going well with you. --- This transcript has been translated from Dutch.